How To Be a Man

Does Glenn O’Brien’s book “How To Be a Man: A Guide to Style and Behavior for the Modern Gentleman” make his GQ column unnecessary?

Yes. And no.

The book is just under 300 pages, and O’Brien writes about absolutely everything: how to drink, smoke, be a guest at someone’s house, a friend… even how to die!

So what the hell else can people write in to The Style Guy to ask him?

Well, in GQ’s May 2011 issue, a reader wrote in with this question:

“I have a crush on a friend, and I was thinking about getting her something that I know she’d love and then leaving it at her door. Is that romantic or creepy?”

To which O’Brien responded:

“Creepy. Give her a birthday present and hand it over yourself.” 

O’Brien resume is just bonkers, and there is no doubt he knows what he’s doing and talking about. “How To Be a Man” is chock full of historical tidbits about the origin of the suit, the necktie and alcohol. So not only does he teach you how to act in 2011 (when there seems to be an ever-growing number of slobs), but you are also told in O’Brien’s signature wit.

Here are just a selection of some of my favorite quotes and bits of advice from “How To Be a Man.”

Glenn O'Brien by Jean-Philippe Delhomme

– On being a man: “Anybody can have a penis, two testicles, and a Y chromosome. You might be a man, technically, but that is not enough anymore.”

– On flip-flops: “Flip-flops are never to be worn with suits; in fact they are not to be worn outside the home, unless you have a swimming pool. If you wear them on the street and there’s any justice, you’ll step on a pop-top and blow out that flip-flop. Flip-flops are actually designed to prevent you from catching athlete’s foot in the locker room, not for strolling the boulevards or climbing mountains.”

– On his being a wine drinker, exclusively (now): “I also went wino because I came to believe it was compatible with evolution. Humans have been drinking wine since prehistory, whereas we’ve been drinking distilled spirits for less than a thousand years.”

– On friends: “Don’t you hate it when a perfectly good work changes its meaning? What is a friend today in the age of Facebook? […] A friend is defined as a person whom one knows, likes, and trusts. A person, not a set of data. ‘Friend’ is a noun, and its use as a transitive verb is unfortunate and hopefully a fad.”

– “Buy a Star Trek uniform in case you get called for jury duty.”

– “Joining Jews for Jesus nearly doubles your days off.”

– “Wear a tuxedo for your ID photos.”

What I’ll be reading today – Glenn O’Brien “How To Be a Man”

I’ve been reading Glenn O’Brien’s “Style Guy” column in GQ for years. Readers write in and ask him all kinds of questions: can you wear white to a wedding, are baseball caps appropriate outside baseball stadiums, how much chest hair can you show at work (hint: none, so button up)?

A recent question/answer to and from The Style Guy.

Q: “I am curious as to the proper way a guy should sit. Should I be a stereotypical man and keep my legs apart, or should I cross them at the ankles? Personally, I sometimes find it more comfortable to cross them at the knees, but when I do this I often feel self-conscious. It may seem silly, but it is something I think about every time I sit. What should I do?”

Glenn: “Good question. A lot of men think about their standing but then sort of lie down on a chair. Sitting is just the social end of good posture. I once attended an Alexander Technique class, which is all about good posture and how it affects your back, and the instructors kept talking about our “sit bones.” It sounds silly, but it’s true that your sit bones—let’s call them the butt bones for fun—not the middle of your back, should be in contact with the chair or seating surface. I believe sitting up straight really does help you pay attention, or at least appear to be paying attention, which, in business, is almost as good. It’s OK to cross your legs at the ankles or at the knees when you’re relaxing. Just avoid the crotch-shot Sharon Stone position. You’re not Sharon Stone. Once you get in the habit of sitting properly, you shouldn’t have to think about it anymore and you can devote that time to thinking about cheap, renewable sources of energy.”

O’Brien writes with such wit that you almost hit yourself on the head every time you read something, like ‘Duh, should have known that!’

O’Brien once worked for Andy Warhol and was a member of the Factory. He also wrote for Allure, Details, Harper’s Bazaar, among other publications, hosted a television show in the 80s and once dated Grace Jones, so yeah, the guy probably knows a thing or nine about climbing social ladders, being successful and, well, being a man of men. A guy’s guy.

Last month’s GQ (April 2011) had a preview-type piece for his book “How To Be a Man,” out now.

I just got my copy this morning, and plan on making it my companion on my way to and from work today. Here are some of my favorite tips and quotes from Glenn O’Brien’s April 2011 piece in GQ.

– “We often hear the platitude of cynics, “It’s not what you know but who you know.” I get it, but it’s a bit facile. It’s what you know, who you know, and what you know about who you know and what who you know knows, too. Not to mention knowing what else and who else you ought to know. Is that clear?”

– “It’s better to be overdressed than underdressed. People will assume you are going to or coming from something better.”

– “While some men maintain that it is impossible for hetero men to have a true non-sexual friendship with a woman, those are men ruled by their glands. I can be genuine friends with anyone smart and funny, gender aside. Many of my best friends are women, who are, sorry to say, far less likely to be assholes than men.”

– “I have friends of numerous generations. Transgenerational exchange is one of the most essential processes in society; this is how great companies and empires are built. We are mentored as youths, and in maturity we mentor. But at the same time, we can laugh at the same jokes and collaborate in meaningful enterprises. I’ll write the manifesto, kid; you write the code.”

That last one is probably my favorite. Hint, hint. I could be your mentee, Glenn.

For more, go to: http://www.gq.com/style/style-guy/201104/glenn-obrien-guide-social-climbing

Tina Fey – Bossypants

Humble, honest, funny and smart, much like the author herself, Tina Fey’s first (and hopefully not last) book “Bossypants” was anything but a chore to get through.

The “Saturday Night Live” alum (and former head writer) and “30 Rock” actress, writer and producer dishes on her un-glamorous life as a daughter, wife and mother with great zeal and sharpness. The strength of this book is Tina herself, her writing style and deadpan sarcasm that I think few people can pull off. Fey writes abouts her time on SNL, and her return to the show as Sarah Palin during the 2008 U.S. Elections and her unwanted politicization, as well as the incredible role her father has played in making her the person she is today.

My favorite quotes from “Bossypants”

– “I feel about Photoshop the way some people feel about abortion. It is appalling and a tragic reflection on the moral decay of our society… unless I need it, in which case, everybody be cool.”

– “That first season when we shot on location in Manhattan, people would stop to watch before realizing we were not Sex and the City, when they would leave immediately.”

– On why she did not want to appear in a two-shot with Sarah Palin on SNL: “I knew that if that picture existed, it would be what they show on the Emmys someday when I die.”

– “I’m a firm believer in our constitutional right to wear shoes, and I believe more people should take advantage of it. I never go barefoot during a photo shoot. Even if they say your feet are ‘out of frame,’ don’t believe them. I know what you’re thinking and no, I don’t have horrible messed-up feet. Maybe my feet are so amazing that I want to shelter them so they can have a normal life. I don’t want them to be the Suri Cruise of feet. Did you ever think about that?”

It was recently announced that “30 Rock” would only be returning to NBC mid-season (i.e. January 2012), because Fey, who is pregnant with her second child, will be taking some time off to spend it with her family. That’ll likely mean a shorter sixth season for the show, and could possibly even be its last. I obviously would love the show to go on forever, but there’s a lot for everyone involved to be extremely proud of when it does end.

Tina Fey in May 2011 issue of GQ. Photo by Ruven Afanador

GQ also picked Tina Fey as one of their 10 “Sexiest Funny Women on the Planet,” along with Olivia Munn, Emma Stone, Mila Kunis and Elizabeth Banks.

http://www.gq.com/entertainment/celebrities/201105/tina-fey-bossypants-30-rock-liz-lemon

http://www.gq.com/women/photos/201105/sexy-women-comedy#slide=1