The 99 best movies under 99 minutes on Netflix Canada

A movie’s runtime is increasingly becoming a major factor in the likelihood of me ever watching it.

Of course, there are directors I love whose work I follow almost religiously. And I, too, get sucked into festival and awards buzz. But when I’m home and want to watch a movie before bedtime (8 p.m., and I’m only sorta kidding) lurks, I’m not looking for epics or films with entr’actes. More than once, I let my The Great Escape (172 minutes) DVD set continue gathering dust in favour of shorter films I had available to watch (The Italian Job – the Michael Caine one – and Run Lola Run – an 80-minute German thriller – come to mind).

The next time you’re looking for a movie to watch and want to make sure you’ll be conscious by the time the credits roll, you don’t have to just fire up another episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, like I’ve been doing for the last two weeks. You *can* watch a movie! As Buffy herself sang at the 2002 MTV Movie Awards, “movies kick absolute, total and complete ass.”

Here are 99 great films under 99 minutes currently streaming on Netflix Canada.

(Netflix Canada catalogue @ June 1, 2015)

My favourites

1. Fargo (1996), 98 minutes

Why I’ve even bothered including 98 other films on this list is beyond me. We should all just be watching Fargo 99 times back-to-back. The Coen Brothers classic stars Frances McDormand as the badass, no-bullshit, pregnant detective Marge Gunderson, who’s investigating three murders in her town, all occurring after the disappearance of the wife of bumbling Jerry Lundegaard (William H. Macy).

2. A History of Violence (2005), 96 minutes

Tom Stall and his family are about to get a rude awakening. After a news story hailing him as a local hero garners some national attention, Tom’s past life catches up with him. Viggo Mortensen stars in Canadian director David Cronenberg’s film, with Mario Bello, Ed Harris and William Hurt. One of Cronenberg’s best.

3. His Girl Friday (1940), 92 minutes

How far can one man go to try to lure his ex from her new beau? For newspaper editor Walter Burns (Cary Grant), the limit does not exist as he tries everything to keep Hildy Johnson (Rosalind Russell), his ex-wife and his ace reporter, in town.

4. 20 Feet From Stardom (2013), 91 minutes

The Oscar-winning documentary follows back-up singers who lent their vocals to some of the most famous and popular songs ever, yet are not household names, including Darlene Love, who stole the show at the 2013 Oscars and was a frequent guest on David Letterman’s Late Show.

5. Fruitvale Station (2013), 85 minutes

A haunting portrait of the last day of Oscar Grant III, a 22-year-old Bay Area man shot by police on the platform of a train station, that’s become more haunting and poignant since its release. I also highly recommend Roxane Gay’s essay on Fruitvale Station, “Last Day of a Young Black Man.”

6. Stoker (2013), 99 minutes

Chan-wook Park’s first film in English is Stoker, about young India Stoker (Mia Wasikowska, in her best work ever) coping with her father’s death, her mother’s (a bone-chilling Nicole Kidman) grief, and her mysterious uncle’s (Matthew Goode) sudden and creepy interest in her.

7. Blue Jasmine (2013), 98 minutes

Blue Jasmine is the rags-to-riches-to-rags story of Jasmine Francis, a role that earned Cate Blanchett her very deserved second Oscar.

8. Mean Girls (2004), 97 minutes

The endlessly quotable and rewatchable Mean Girls is also only 97 minutes long. Has a shrine been erected in honour of Tina Fey yet?

9. I Am Divine (2013), 90 minutes

I’d only heard of Divine and knew nothing of Harris Glenn Milstead, the man under her wigs and makeup before watching I Am Divine, the fascinating documentary about the drag icon who was John Waters’ muse and starred as Edna Turnblad in the 1988 film version of Hairspray. 

10. The Cabin in the Woods (2012), 95 minutes

The Cabin in the Woods is a send-off of every horror movie trope, wrapped in a bonkers, over-the-top horror-comedy of its own, co-written by Judd Apatow and Drew Goddard.

 Animation

11. Shrek (2001), 90 minutes

Shrek‘s influence on the animated-film landscape is undeniable, even though the series has fallen out of the grace of some fans because of subpar third and fourth entries.

12. Shrek 2 (2004), 93 minutes

13. How to Train Your Dragon (2010), 98 minutes

14. Un chat à Paris (2010), 70 minutes

15. Kung Fu Panda (2008), 92 minutes

16. Ernest et Célestine (2012), 80 minutes

17. Antz (1998), 83 minutes

18. Monsters vs. Aliens (2009), 94 minutes

19. L’illusioniste (2010), 80 minutes

Action/Thriller/Crime

20. Red Eye (2005), 85 minutes

Wes Craven is a true master of suspense, and in the breezy 85-minute Red Eye, starring Rachel McAdams and Cillian Murphy, Craven builds one of the most gripping thrillers of the last decade.

21. Premium Rush (2012), 91 minutes

22. Dredd (2012), 95 minutes

23. Haywire (2011), 92 minutes

24. Salt (2010), 99 minutes

25. Grindhouse: Planet Terror (2007), 91 minutes

26. Big Trouble in Little China (1986), 99 minutes

27. A Company Man (2012), 96 minutes

28. The Matador (2005), 98 minutes

29. Killing Them Softly (2012), 97 minutes

30. The Guard (2011), 96 minutes

31. Blue Ruin (2013), 90 minutes

32. Croupier (1998), 94 minutes

Documentary

33. Page One: Inside the New York Times (2011), 92 minutes

Blame my print journalism bias for the first three documentary picks: Page One, about the behind-the-scenes, production side of putting together The New York Times, with a deep and now-bittersweet look at the work of the late David Carr; Bill Cunningham New York, about a NYT photographer who literally invented street fashion photography; and Stripped, about cartoonists at newspapers discussing how the fall of print media is affecting their craft.

34. Bill Cunningham New York (2010), 84 minutes

35. Stripped (2014), 85 minutes

36. Side by Side (2012), 98 minutes

37. Showrunners: The Art of Running a TV Show (2014), 88 minutes

38. Blackfish (2013), 83 minutes

39. The Imposter (2012), 99 minutes

40. Elaine Stritch: Shoot Me (2013), 81 minutes

41. From One Second to the Next (2013), 34 minutes

42. The Lady in Number 6: Music Saved My Life (2013), 38 minutes

Drama

43. Bicycle Thieves (1948), 89 minutes

Netflix’s catalogue of classic films is sometimes lacking but often changing based on which studios it inks deals with. The 1948 Italian film Bicycle Thieves is a heartbreaking and hopeful film about a man and his son searching for a stolen bike that is crucial for the father’s job. Honorary Oscar winner in 1950 for foreign-language film, before the competitive category was established in 1956.

44. Beasts of the Southern Wild (2012), 93 minutes

45. Omar (2013), 98 minutes

46. Wadjda (2012), 98 minutes

47. Blue Caprice (2013), 93 minutes

48. Tiny Furniture (2010), 99 minutes

49. Diego Star (2013), 87 minutes

50. Rabbit Hole (2010), 91 minutes

51. My Week with Marilyn (2011), 98 minutes

52. The Station Agent (2003), 89 minutes

53. Love Is Strange (2014), 94 minutes

54. Punch-Drunk Love (2002), 95 minutes

55. Short Term 12 (2013), 96 minutes

56. Smashed (2012), 81 minutes

57. The Bling Ring (2013), 90 minutes

58. Moon (2009), 97 minutes

59. Carnage (2011), 79 minutes

60. The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas (2008), 94 minutes

Horror

61. The Strangers (2008), 85 minutes

There’s a fine line between “predictable” and “hits exactly the right note exactly when it’s supposed to.” That is The Strangers, a 2008 horror-thriller starring Liv Tyler as a woman being taunted by three masked assailants at her and her husband’s isolated vacation home.

62. Teeth (2007), 94 minutes

63. The Descent (2005), 98 minutes

64. Carrie (1976), 98 minutes

65. The Fly (1958), 93 minutes

66. Frailty (2002), 99 minutes

67. In Fear (2013), 85 minutes

68. The Woman in Black (2012), 95 minutes

Comedy, Romcom, Dramedy

69. The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014), 99 minutes

The latest film by Wes Anderson was a surprise hit, and a rare early-in-the-year release that was able to sustain its momentum come Oscar time, taking home four awards in technical categories and being nominated in nine overall. The film stars Anderson regulars and has a most impressive cast: Ralph Fiennes, Tilda Swinton, F. Murray Abraham, Harvey Keitel, Jude Law, Edward Norton, Adrien Brody, Bill Murray, and Tony Revolori, in a memorable breakout film role.

70. Baby Mama (2008), 98 minutes

71. Zoolander (2001), 89 minutes

72. Office Space (1999), 89 minutes

73. Wet Hot American Summer (2001), 96 minutes

74. Bring It On (2000), 98 minutes

75.  Liar Liar (1997), 86 minutes

76. Intolerable Cruelty (2003), 99 minutes

77. Dan In Real Life (2007), 98 minutes

78. 13 Going On 30 (2004), 97 minutes

79. Safety Not Guaranteed (2012), 85 minutes

80. Midnight in Paris (2011), 94 minutes

81. Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008), 96 minutes

82. Enough Said (2013), 92 minutes

83. I Love You Phillip Morris (2009), 97 minutes

84. Hamlet 2 (2008), 92 minutes

85. Frank (2014), 95 minutes

86. Gayby (2012), 88 minutes

87. Celeste and Jesse Forever (2012), 92 minutes

88. Easy A (2010), 92 minutes

89. Your Sister’s Sister (2011), 90 minutes

90. The Full Monty (1997), 91 minutes

91. Clueless (1995), 97 minutes

92. The Addams Family (1991), 99 minutes

93. Fever Pitch (1997), 98 minutes

94. Alan Partridge (2013), 90 minutes

95. Harold and Maude (1971), 91 minutes

96. But I’m A Cheerleader (1999), 85 minutes

97. Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987), 92 minutes

98. Frances Ha (2012), 85 minutes

99. South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut (1999), 81 minutes

Oscars 2015: My predictions

I seem to have plateaued. For 2013 and 2014, I predicted 18 of 24 Oscar winners correctly, a personal best since I’ve started wasting my life with this stuff. Can I do better this year?

Here are my predictions for the 2015 Academy Awards:

UPDATE: 18. Again. I started hot and Birdman ruined me.

You can get your ballot at The Hollywood Reporter.

The Oscars air on ABC/CTV Sunday, Feb. 22, at 8 p.m. with host Neil Patrick Harris. Yes, these are the 2015 Oscars.

The year 2017 according to Parks and Recreation’s seventh and final season

After seven seasons and 125 episodes, our friends from Pawnee said their final goodbye on Feb. 24. Undoubtedly, they’ve left a void in television (and my heart) that I don’t envision being filled, ever (I just don’t see any new sitcom or comedy like Parks and Rec getting the green light at any of the big networks, let alone making it to seven seasons).

For its seventh and final season, the NBC show jumped to 2017 (spoilers ahead): Leslie and Ben had their triplets and have a damn good nanny, it would appear; Leslie works for the National Parks Department and Ben is city manager in Pawnee; Ron no longer works in government after founding the Very Good Construction Company; Donna runs Regal Meagle Realty and is getting married; Tom Haverford is a self-described mogul and successful restauranteur; April is looking for her calling while hubby Andy has found his entertaining children on the popular Johnny Karate public-television show; Terry (formerly known as Jerry and Larry, but actually named Garry) is a licensed notary public but still does menial work for Leslie.

But the world outside Pawnee has also changed and gone on, and Parks makes some funny and bold predictions for 2017 in sports, pop culture and technology:

Is Jermaine Jackson going to die? There’s a Jermaine Jackson Memorial Ballroom at the Pawnee Super Suites (the Jacksons are Indiana natives).

Phones will be clear and expandable into tablets, which will be expandable into skateboards.

The Bourne franchise will be rebooted with Kevin James as the titular hero (Andy heard it’s supposed to be pretty funny, while Leslie thought the role was miscast).

Shia LaBeouf will design wedding dresses (Donna’s splurging to walk down the aisle in one). LaBeouf will also be designing jewelry!

The Chicago Cubs will win the World Series and Chicagoans will be in a great mood.

There’s going to be a Hitch 2, starring Jaden Smith and subtitled Son of a Hitch.

Celebrity feud: Morgan Freeman and Shailene Woodley, and it’s baaaaad apparently.

The Game of Thrones season finale will see Khaleesi marry Jack Sparrow (it makes sense if you read the books, Ben says).

Joe Biden will publish a book of poetry, Biden the Rails: 1,001 Poems Inspired by My Travels Through Amtrak’s Northeast Corridor.

Nicki Minaj throws shade at Jesse Eisenberg at the BAFTAs. (Nicki Minaj gets invited to the BAFTAs, so I guess she also transitions into serious acting – I don’t doubt her ability!).

Business will be booming again for Chick Fil-A after Elton John buys it.

There will be a Pulitzer Prize for “Best Top 10 Listicle” (Anabel Porter of Bloosh won it twice so this is probably happening this year!).

Trendy things, according to Bloosh‘s Anabel Porter: oyster forks, asymmetrical overalls, angora toothbrushes, locally sourced Italian flip-flops, and beef milk (which Ron astutely points out is “fucking milk,” but Donna clarifies that a gallon of beef milk is $60 and there’s a waiting list for the stuff!).

LeBron James goes back to Miami!

Elbow art salons will be very popular. Bedazzling elbows, basically.

Bruce Willis and Christina Aguilera Live together in Beverly Hills.

Kennedy, Ginsburg, Roberts, Breyer, Sotomayor and Thomas will still be on the Supreme Court in 2017.

Things that will still be things in 2017: Subway sandwich restaurants, Etsy, Coachella.

The Twin Peaks reboot is gonna be boring, according to April Ludgate.

U.S. politicians still around in 2017: Sen. Barbara Boxer, Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand, John McCain, Madeline Albright. Cory Booker and Gary Hatch are also in a Polynesian folk band.

Unfortunately, MRAs will also still be around, but their protest signs will be amazing.

 

The one-hour series finale also went beyond 2017. Here’s where Parks and Recreation sees

In 2023, they’re going to build a Space Haystack in Seattle next to the Space Needle; Seattle real-estate market is booming; Middle Korea will be a tourist hot spot; they’ve stopped teaching math in schools; door-knocker earrings will be a thing.

Travel by submarine!

The United States will run out of beef.

Have I missed anything? Let me know on Twitter, @Chris_Hanna.

Golden Globes 2015: If I could vote

Rather than try to predict who the elusive Hollywood Foreign Press Association will honour at the 72nd Golden Globes ceremony, I decided it would be less embarrassing more fun to pretend to be a member of the HFPA and fill out my own ballot.

Here’s how I would vote, if I could …

The one prediction I will allow myself is this: Hostesses Amy Poehler and Tina Fey will kill it. They’ve done it twice already, so this is not a bold prediction. But not only is this their swan song, Poehler and Fey both have projects to plug. Poehler’s Parks and Recreation (neither she nor the series are nominated in the TV comedy categories tonight) starts its farewell season on Tuesday; Fey’s Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt premières on Netflix on March 6; Fey and Poehler star in the comedy Sisters, due in theatres in Dec. 2015.

The Golden Globes are on NBC/CTV starting at 8 p.m. You can print your ballot via PopSugar and follow along on Twitter, where I will be live-tweeting and taking part in the Montreal Gazette‘s live blog. Get ready for whatever the hell this means:

Just got out of our final meeting/game plan for tonight. We hope you like an absurd amount of content. An absurd amount. Hilarious amount.

— Golden Globe Awards (@goldenglobes) January 11, 2015